what i wish i knew at 21 #WritersWriteWLD
WritersWriteWLD is a challenge by Ashley Coleman of WriteLaughDream that calls writers to write their stories everyday. There are 4-weeks of writing prompts that explore the parts that make you whole. This post is an entry from that challenge.
At 18, I wish I knew that you can't make homes out of human beings. I wish someone had told me that.
At 21, I wish I knew how to not only listen to, but apply all the lessons I'd already learned. I wish I knew how to pace myself - in life, love, and everything in-between. I wish I knew that yes, my twenties are a defining decade, but I've got a whole nine (eight) years left to make something of them. I wish I knew that the 20-something Mark Zuckerberg is few and far between and it's okay for me not to be that. I wish I knew that comparison is the thief of joy and social media is just highlight reels - their highlight reels, my highlight reel. I wish I knew that I'm not doing this time in my life "wrong," I'm doing it differently.
I wish I knew that it's okay not to know exactly what comes next as long as I trust that God and the Universe are working towards my good. I wish I knew that I'm no good in transition so I could've better prepared for the one I'm going through right now at 22. At 21, I wish I knew not to doubt my abilities and to stop procrastinating where my dreams are concerned. I wish I knew that "overnight successes" put in hours upon hours and years upon years of work, so truly, I'm just getting started and I've got to pay my dues.
At 21, I wish I knew that the weight I put on when sad in the winter, the physical and emotional weight of it all won't last forever. That spring and summer will always come and melt away the ice in my heart, while warming my soul. I wish I knew that there is courage in letting people go. That there are blessings in moving through life unencumbered and that my freedom, my range of motion is too important to wish away, waste on, or share with the first guy that comes along.
I wish I knew that water isn't thicker than blood, so I've got to be careful who I make my family. At 21, I wish I knew never to make myself smaller for the comfort of other people. But mostly, I wish I knew how to snap back into form, to normal size when and if I did shrink down to some unfamiliar size. I wish I knew that anyone who asks that of me isn't for me.
At 21, I wish I knew that the "out to lunch" feeling that kept me up at night would go away eventually. That, I will always come home to myself and to life. Because, unlike at 18, at 21, I learned that the only home I have, the only home I should and can call my own, is always within myself.