Nothing good ever came from comfort zones.
Or at least that's what I feel like I've heard my entire life. "Everything you want is on the other side of fear." "You've got to break out of your comfort zone to experience life." "Comfort zones are just another form of settling."
Now, that's all good and great, but what happens when everything feels comfortable but isn't? When the second things start to feel comfortable, alarms start ringing in my head that scream SABOTAGE THIS! WHAT YOU FEEL CANNOT BE REAL. What happens when ease, or comfort is the scary thing and being uncomfortable isn't? When ease is what makes you want to run away? Running towards the comfort you've found in ambiguity. Comfort that probably shouldn't be comfortable.
I used to be a control freak. I had a Type A personality and maybe a tiny bout of OCD. I never felt comfortable because I never felt there yet and I was terrified that if I took a break, if i stopped to smell the roses, I would fall into the flower bed and turn into a weed. Comfort was what I wanted most, but couldn't let myself have.
Now, I'm a lot less of a control freak and way more comfortable going with the flow. Maybe a little too comfortable. A huge part of my approach to life is saying yes to whatever opportunities come my way that make sense for me and trusting that it will all workout in the end - that I'll be okay. I've learned to find and feel comfort in the space in-between, so that the extremes terrify me a little bit less.
Extremes. I have always been a person of extremes. Really happy or really sad. In love or in hate. In control or out of it. Extremes make sense to me. So learning to live in the middle was a challenge, getting comfortable there even more so. Only, now I am and I've got to figure out how to do life this way. How to stop being afraid of the middle so that I can let myself experience joy. How to be still and settle in, not down. To look for comfort in the right places, instead of failing to find it in all the wrong ones.
What do I do now that being uncomfortable is my comfort zone? When nothing scares me so I've got no other side of fear to step to? How do I settle in here? When I'd rather be heartbroken than not feel at all? Or not get the job instead of never applying in the first place? Or move to the city of my dreams, fail miserably and move back home, but be able to say I tried? What does that comfort zone look like?
You know, the comfort that comes from knowing you've got to make it so you will.
Comfort that is daring, bold, and unafraid to take risks.
A comfort zone that knows the limit does not exist.
the only comfort zone I want to occupy, is one that believes in the power of putting down roots while also trusting in the magic of tearing them all up from the earth. a comfort that knows nothing is guaranteed and the only chance I've got is my dogged faith to see it through. a comfort zone that can't see the staircase but steps out anyway. one that never hesitates to buy the flight or say yes. one that stays true to creating a life - my way.
One that knows, the only real way to live, is without having a comfort zone.
This piece was written as a lead up to The Reign XY's event with Moredinary, Exhuming and Exalting: A Sisterhood Soirée. If you're interested in exploring what comfort zones mean to you or desire to connect with likeminded women creatives around notions of authenticity in our crafts and being, I hope you'll join Roconia Price of EverSoRoco and Moredinary and I at our Sisterhood Soirée THIS SATURDAY, April 22nd, 2017 in Washington D.C. Join us as we get past the business card bullshit so that we can connect and encourage each other in a genuine way. No pretenses. No judgement. No masks. Tickets are $25 and we would really love to see you there.