It's been a minute since we've touched base like this. What's happened? What have I learned? What have I not written about?
- I turned twenty-four.
- I released my first book into the world (literally just sent off first copies on Wednesday).
- I ended a temp gig that enabled me to fund my adventures for the last few months.
I'm currently in LA post-Coachella spending time with a good friend and just celebrating life. I wanted to give myself an experience this year for my birthday in lieu of more traditional celebrations. Everything is wide open. I'll be back in Virginia soon and then who the hell knows what's coming next.
I don't. I mean, I have feelers out to positions and opportunities I'm interested in. Networking is always a thing. But everything is wide-open. I tweeted recently that I'm going to write about gap years for Black girls. I'm going to write about my gap year but, that's not why I'm here. Today, I want to meditate on the difference between being "ready" and "prepared." For full transparency, I've been meditating on it since August 22nd, 2017 to be exact. I'm just finally understanding what it means in tangible ways I think.
ready: in a suitable state for an activity, action, or situation; fully prepared
prepared: make (something) ready for use or consideration
One thing initially stands out to me here, you can't be "ready" without first being "prepared." So often, we use these words interchangeably, at least I know I do. But, they mean different things. One is a prerequisite to the other.
How does this relate to my life? I'm not sure if I'm ready for whatever is coming next. I'm not sure if I'm really ready for people who are not my closest friends, hell for someone who is not me, myself, and I to have my book in their hands. I have no clue if I'm ready for what year twenty-four will bring. I'm not sure if I'm ready.
But, I can always be sure I'm prepared to the best of my abilities. Being prepared just means to make something ready, to do the work of trying to be in a suitable state. Being prepared means to be available for use or consideration.
I'm not exactly ready for what God is doing in this season. I vacillate between being overjoyed and terrified that anyone would buy a book of my words. I have all these plans and no form of income that is easily seen or in my reach right now. How is that going to work out? I'm making efforts to leave behind what has come to be home to return to an old one. What if I hate it? I'm not ready.
But, I sure as hell am available. I'm available for what God is doing in this season even if I don't understand it or can't see the forest for the trees. I believe there is always enough. I have been shown there is always enough so what reason do I have to doubt God for beyond fear? I feel in my heart that leaving said space is the right move, even if I'm not exactly sure why or what will come of it. I'm available.
We, I talk so much about being "ready." But, maybe we just need to do our best to be "prepared," to make ourselves more available to life, love, the job we have our heart set on, etc. What would that mean? What would that look like?
To let go of the need to be ready and instead just prepare...
Here's to the possibilities.