When I was a kid, Peter Pan was one of my favorite movies. I was enchanted with fairy dust, afraid of Captian Hook, and most importantly of all didn't want to grow up. (Well, from the age of like 13-18 I couldn't wait to be "grown" and "get out" if I'm being honest.)
And now, as a rising senior at Cornell that is spending her summer looking actively planning for life post-Cornell, I feel like I felt pre-teen years. I don't want to grow up. I want to stay this weird hybrid kidadult thing that I am.
I feel no rush to have to pay bills/Sallie Mae back. I have no desire to have to take care of or be responsible for another human being in an "I love you, let's get married" or "I birthed you so now I love you and have to take care of you" kind of way.
Lately, I wake up with this intense desire to wander, see, explore, experience, learn. (I'm trying into Toi y'all, I'm becoming a "life enthusiast.") I actively spend my time imagining my life as a warriornomadtrap princess of sorts, whatever that means. I'm 21 years old and while I know next year I'll be ready to leave Cornell after crossing that stage- I don't quite know if I'll be ready for what's "supposed" to come next. (And by that I mean getting a job or going straight into another degree program. You know, all those things that make people "successful".) I'm not sure if I want any of that right now. And I think I owe it to little me to explore some this whole warriornomadtrap princess thing (there's got to be some sort of cape involved so I mean, WIN!).
I've said all of this to say that, maybe I'll go straight to grad school. Maybe I'll move halfway around the world and bartender or waitress to pay my bills and fund my travels. Maybe I'll be be given some opportunity that I'll feel I have no choice but to take. And maybe I'll move back home to my parents house and have a quarter life crisis that involves a lot of Talenti, movies, and crying. And maybe all of that, any of that gets to be okay...
To my fellow rising seniors (or really just anyone about to enter a new beginning) maybe you're not like me and you feel no pressure to know what your next move is going to be. Or, maybe you are like me and you're conflicted about what that move should be- how you should feed your soul and your passions in this next phase of life.. I encourage you, no I implore you, to lead a life that makes your soul soar. If you want to take that corporate job offer and move to NYC because that will make you happy, DO IT. If you want to move to Malaysia and wander around Southeast Asia, DO THAT TOO (and let me know when I can visit.) If you want to find a way to blend a few things and create a life that truly suits your needs, DO THAT. (I wish you balance and good luck.)
May we have the courage to lead passion filled lives. May we pursue the things that make us happy, even if they make sense to know one else. May we do the things we truly want to and in the process, honor the kid inside of us, that never, and still doesn't want to grow up.