Today, I am in Washington DC having coffee and informational interviews with people I hope will help me in my quest for something to do with my life after I graduate next year. Of course, the tricky part is that I have NO CLUE what I want that to be. Which, if I'm being honest is a really weird, new, thing for me. I've always known what I wanted to do or where I thought I wanted to go to college (even though both changed and I ended up in totally different spaces.) The only thing I feel like I know now is what I'm interested in and passionate about. How to communicate that in a way that doesn't make me sound like a blithering fool that's all over the place with no skills? Still working on that.
I'm exaggerating some, but I really don't know where I want to be or what I want to do. Do I want to work for a few years? (Where? Should I teach? Do research? Start my own business?) Do I want to go straight to grad school? (Where? What program? Should I apply for Master's programs too in case I don't get accepted to any PhD programs? How do I convey all my research interests into a two page personal statement? Are my grades good enough to get into a top program? Will I bomb the GRE?) Should I just say screw it and go travel? (How will I pay for that? What about my friends and family? Is that selfish?) These are the thoughts that run through my head literally all. day.
When I was a senior in high school and waiting to hear back from all the universities I applied to, I was terrified that I wouldn't get accepted to a single school. And while I'm not paralyzed by the same fears this time around, I do wonder if I'm qualified for the things I'm shooting for. I worry about how to convey all of the skills I have and things I want to do to potential employers/graduate programs. I wonder if I can find my niche again or carve out a space for myself like I've done at Cornell the last 3 years. I'm proud of all that I've accomplished and excited for whatever will come next.
I've got an open mind, heart, and feet that are pretty much willing to go anywhere. And, I want to share this journey with you. Over the next year, I will do my best to write candidly about my journey to jobtravelgradschoolmyoldroom (LOL) sharing my fears, trials, triumphs, tips, and tricks along the way.
One coffee of the day is down with an interview left to go. And you know what I feel so far? It's all going to be okay and I'm blessed to have options (Even if those options do feel a little paralyzing at times).
Goal: To do something next that opens more doors than it closes- that's it.
I hope you'll join me on this journey.