• e.l.f. cosmetics

    Sorry, not sorry.

    I have been taught accommodation. I have been taught to filter… I have been taught to grow in. I learned to absorb. I learned how to make space around me. I asked five questions in genetics class today, and all of them started with the word sorry.

    Do you ever catch yourself saying ‘sorry’ for absolutely no real reason at all? You did not actually do anything wrong. Someone was uncomfortable by your presence, speech, sexuality, love of yourself, and you apologized for it. Why are women sometimes so uncomfortable with taking up space? Why do we make ourselves smaller to make our fellow woman, a man, or someone less capable than us feel better? Why are we apologizing for existing as our full, amazing, inspired selves? 

    Maybe, it is because as women we are taught to be nurturers. We are taught to be accommodating and comforting. We are taught to take care of the people around us, often to the detriment of ourselves. This is something that all women learn. It is also something that women of color, especially black women often take the cake in. Black women are often thought of as the “mule” of the world. We are strong, capable, intelligent, and “hold it down.” All of which is well and good, but who takes care of us in return? Who takes care of you? 

    2014 was full of so many lessons. One of which was that no one will take care of you as well as you will. Kerry Washington once said that she operates from an “oxygen mask” way of life. You know, when you’re on the plane before take off and the flight attendants tell you to put your mask on before assisting others. Well, I hope in 2015 we all live that way. You cannot, I cannot be of use to anyone else if I’m not of use to myself. 

    Make this year about your self-care. 

    Stop apologizing for being who you are. Stop apologizing for the discomfort other people feel by your fullness. Stop shrinking yourself to ensure other people feel okay around you. 

    Stop saying sorry. 

    Here’s to being growing women in 2015- no more shrinking around here. 

    Take up space. & Know that you have every right to do so. 

    Gabrielle Hickmon
    Gabrielle Hickmon

    Find me on: Web | Twitter


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