The Problem with Social Media Narcissists
If you live under a rock, then you missed the news that our Queen, Beyoncé is pregnant. WITH TWINS. Bey is giving us not one Carter baby, but two, in addition to the masterpiece that already is Blue Ivy.
Needless to say, the Internet has been in a tizzy the last few days over the twins and Bey's announcement photo shoot. Mostly, the response has been extreme happiness for Beyoncé, Jay Z, and Blue Ivy. Beyoncé has been very open about her miscarriage and other pregnancy struggles so we mere mortals are elated that the Universe decided to bless her with two babies. Things always work out.
Of course, there have been funny memes and jokes about Bey telling us to leave our men while she was out here cooking up two babies. But still, joy for her and her growing family nonetheless. (Also, if all you took from Lemonade was Boy Bye and Don't Hurt Yourself, then you solely missed the point of the project. I mean, it ends with All Night which is the ultimate redemption song, but I digress).
Enter in an article that just dropped on Man Repeller, a site we happen to love, that outlines the problem with announcing your pregnancy on social media written by the sites founder Leandra.
Now, I have never been pregnant or lost a child, so I'm not going to even attempt to speak to that pain. But, I am going to speak to how problematic it is to be unable to de-center yourself in order to celebrate others.
It's incredibly self-centered to lack the ability to celebrate the joys, triumphs, highs, or accomplishments of others, even if and especially when things might not be going as well for you. First off, Beyoncé and these twins she's about to bless us with deserve more than that. Second off, everything doesn't get to be about you all the time! Everyone has had to watch someone get something they wanted but couldn't have. Doesn't mean the person doesn't deserve to celebrate. Doesn't mean they shouldn't feel joy, be proud of themselves, or tell people about it.
I also take issue with the fact that this was article put on a website read by hundreds of thousands of people instead of being oh I don't know, discussed behind closed doors or better yet, not said at all. It bothers me that a women's publication doesn't see the problem with running an article that while well intentioned I'm sure, is essentially encouraging women to focus more on our pain than our joy. That is upholding this idea that there is not enough goodness and magic out there in the world for all of us. That blessings aren't always falling in our laps if we just deign to look for them - if we pay attention to OUR blessings, instead of envying those of other people.
Comparison is the thief of joy. So, if you've got to unfollow someone, delete apps, hell, even stop messing with someone heavy for a little bit so that you can get your mind right, then do that. But it's both unrealistic, problematic, immature, and selfish to not expect people to celebrate themselves. And woman to woman, if the joy or success of someone around you or on your social media feed bothers you, then you have some internal work to do. The work of not viewing the world from a place of lack. The work of trusting that what is meant for you can never miss you. The work of doing the work so that you too can have a seat at whatever table you're interested in. The work of getting busy living and loving, so busy, that it feels like you're being blessed and put on everywhere you look.
Being a woman in this day and age is hard enough, we absolutely need to take every chance we get to celebrate each other. If we don't, who will?
There's enough magic out there to go around.
And Queens, see Queens. No matter the battles one is fighting in their own queendom.
Plus, white celebrities have announced their pregnancies on Instagram before. Where was this article then? White feminism so fragile... ☕️🐸
All hail the Queen.