It was early in the morning. Five AM in Johannesburg to be exact. I rolled over, got on Twitter and saw that Daniel Caesar had dropped. I was instantly in my feelings.
Freudian is an album about the ins and outs of 20-something love.
It's slippages, contours, and corners. How easily we slip down the rabbit hole. How hard it can be to climb out.
The project starts with 'Get You,' a song describing the subtle surprise and joy felt when we get the person we never thought we would or could. It starts in the bedroom, everything we needs between those thighs. Who would've thought? I have you. Will I keep you? 20-something love followed by 20-something questions. As soon as it gets good, it fades into memories.
But, you're still the best part. A song I'm sure I will hear at countless friends weddings. Maybe I'll even play it at my own. A melody that makes you think of the person you love or the person you love to hate. Won't you give yourself to me? Give it all. The coffee I need in the morning. The Tylenol I take when my head hurts. Have you ever loved someone that much? Have any of us? In a generation caught up in caring less, do we even know what love looks, feels, smells, tastes, sounds like?
Water when I'm stuck in the desert or was it a mirage? If you love me won't ya say something?
Kirk Franklin. I wish the last minute was the whole song because when I heard the sample I about lost my mind. I know I'm your favorite. But, do you know it too? What's understood doesn't need to be explained, however it seems real hard to get on the same page. This has happened before. From got you, get you, movies, parts to wondering.
"I never asked for much, only that you'd stay true."
"Should've left you along time ago.
All my niggas done told me so.
But my niggas don't hold me tight, when I'm sleeping in my bed at night."
"I was wondering, can you hold me down?"
Nothing ever lasts anymore. What happened to varsity jackets and asking someone to go steady? Love that we made last. Commitment. Consistency. Patience. Making excuses for ourselves on behalf of them. "I don't want to hinder your career right now." "You don't know where you'll be in 4-6 months." "I'm not looking for anything serious." "I didn't sign up for this."
"You don't love me anymore."
But, maybe you do? Or did? On the inside but can't show it out. Dreams coming that came true. We fell down but we got up. We found love. Blessed.
"When I go, I don't stay gone for long
Don't know what's going on." Cracked house put back together again. Maybe sometimes, love does win in the end. I'm a mess. You're a mess. We're a mess but we're blessed to be. I'm not sure I want to be stuck with you. Home is where the heart is and my heart is you. Coming back to my heart, coming home to you. We made it all better.
Back to bed or maybe on the couch this time. Standing up or sitting down.
"All they want to do is please me."
"Top me off in celebration." There's so much between us. History. Off and on. Situation-relations. We keep people even after they have gone because it is we who want to be kept. Back pockets and a deck full of possibles, why do we make love full of so many obstacles?
"I take the easy way out every time...
Charge that to my ego
I just want all the lights"
If art imitates life and life is searching for love, then 'Freudian' is a beautiful lesson in both. A slipping in and out and back in again, Daniel takes us on a journey that mimics what love in life is like for the average 20-something - for better or worse. It isn't all roses and sunshine, but he sure makes it sound better than how you feel when you see a rainbow after a long, hard rain.
Maybe, one day, we'll all stop getting in our own way.
If you haven't already, give "Freudian" a listen and let us know what you think because it's almost been three months and we're still falling - slipping to be exact.