I spoke to my Alone

It said

That I would find sanctuary

In a shared bed


That a chorus of strangers

Would call me back to myself


That freedom meant

Never sitting still again


Meant only the bending of limbs

The sharing of sweat

The sex

And the leaving afterwards


Because what else would lonely call a bedroom door

If not an escape route

If not a promise of leaving its weight in someone else’s skin

I have been trying to escape my alone

And still hear it grinning in my ear


Calling my hand to theirs

Saying if you break your body enough

In the presence of a person that won’t fix it

Soon you’ll be a ghost

A shadow of smoke

A nothing

And feel nothing

Not even alone


So I listen

Crawl into another person

Let a part of me go

Call this

A freedom

Call me a phantom


Before I am told to


My alone so sadistic

It watch me bury myself

My alone so romantic

It let me do it with the lights off

My alone so alone

It forgot what free look like

Renamed it prison

Of tired feet

And breathless mouth

And spineless hero


My alone so lonely

It hung itself in this cell

With everyone watching

Left a smell of haunting

Left a hand out

Calling me

To it

Lindsay Young

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. USA