Always choose you.
I hope 2018 is the year of you. I hope you smile when you say, “no.” I hope you feel electric inside when you finally tell him he doesn’t deserve you, and you won’t wait around for the day he becomes good enough. I hope you no longer feel compelled to respond to every message you receive. I hope you find peace in discomfort and the anxiety you feel about being lonely transforms into the solitude that embraces you while you’re alone. I hope you choose you.
If I could go on a world tour teaching women how to fall in love with themselves, I absolutely would. You walk differently over here. The sun is so much brighter over here. Something in the water is making my hair grow over here.
I turned 25 this year, and 25 was good to me. I secured my 2nd degree and the 3rd is #datway. I’m not really sure what that means, but degree number 3 is on the horizon and it is attached to a new prefix. I wanted this year to mean something. I wanted to reflect at the end of the year and be proud of the decisions I’d made.
I was dating (talking to?) this guy for a little over a year. When reality crept into my bed in the middle of the night I knew I had to make a decision. I chose me. He confronted me months later (yes bi#*h, months), disgruntled we never discussed my decision. He didn’t want to understand that choosing me didn’t require consultation or permission. Choosing you doesn’t require consultation or permission.
I made a blessings jar with a teenage client in January. Every so often I’d write down a blessing, or something I was grateful for and the date. I’ll read them after NYE. I plan to make one every year.
I hope you make a vision board that inspires you. I hope you become Stevie Wonder to the bullsh!t. I hope you understand that choosing you for the first time is uncomfortable. It is hard. It is exhilarating. I hope the fire you’ve ignited to warm those around you is extinguished. I hope you play more Trina in 2018 because you really deserve that. I hope you laugh more. I hope you accept it’s okay to not be okay. I hope you look in the mirror every morning and adore the woman you see.
So when will you do it? When will you choose you? How much longer are you going to sacrifice becoming the woman you want to be for the only woman you know?