Ride or die culture is really a huge detriment to our society. Some men walk around expecting women to be "down" for them, and some women have bought into it. (Is there a clear definition of what "down" is? Because, I'm still confused.) I've personally always thought it was crazy! Where are we riding to and why do I have to die?
We claim to hold loyalty in high esteem, but never stop to question who we are being loyal to and why. We sometimes put others before ourselves and stay in situations way longer than we should because we want to be "down" or "riders" or "loyal" or because "we love each other so much."
But, I've been reflecting lately and that's not what love is. Hell, that's not even a real relationship. If you call yourself caring about someone on any level, why would you want them to remain in a situation that is detrimental to them? Why would you want to keep forcing something that just isn't working? Why don't you feel like you yourself deserve a situation that is mutually beneficial? And most of all, why would you ever expect someone to be loyal to you before they are loyal to themselves?
Stop being afraid to let people go. Stop thinking that people who don't stick it out with you through every damn thing are bad people. Maybe, your shit just stinks and was too much for them to deal with. And guess what, that's okay.
People are meant for a reason, a season, or all time. But, everyone is not all three.
Jhene Aiko said it best: if you cannot stay down, you do not have to pretend. And if you're not sure, then maybe you shouldn't bother. Knowing what you want is often the key to getting it. And if you have to force it, then let it go.
"A convincing love is no kind of love at all."
Stay. But not in a - if you leave, you're disloyal and fake way. Stay in a- we're gonna work things out and I love you so I choose you, I choose us way.
Have the courage to walk away from situations that no longer serve you.
But know when, how, and for whom to stay.