date a writer, don't read their work
keep in mind I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my shit...
- Erykah Badu
This post is in the situationships section for a reason, because it is partners, lil babies who don't listen, and hoes who I think shouldn't be reading your (my) work.
Here's the thing, writing, is for me, sacred. I commune with God and myself every time I put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. And being vulnerable, writing the way I write is hard enough without wondering if they're gonna read it, think it's about them, and then question me on it.
Yes, I'd rather avoid that entirely.
"I read your little situationships post today."
Confuckingratulations. You can read. Awesome. I don't know why you think I care. I read it already, a few times to be honest because well, I wrote it!
"So, tell me how you really feel."
Didn't you just say you read the post? Okay, so you know how I feel. I said what I said. I wrote it all down. Immortalized you, it, we, us, together forever in Helvetica size 12.
Sometimes, writing is fighting to get the words from your heart on to the page. Especially, no, always when it is about them, you, me, we, us, together. And sure, you could argue that I shouldn't be writing/publishing pieces about my relationships, but to that I say, who tf are you and how dare you try to police my art?!
Dissect. Engage. Love. Hate. But don't you dare police it.
So, a word of advice to all the he's, her's, and they's out there who think they want to date a writer.
Date a writer but don't read their work.
Don't read their work unless you can: handle showing up in it, appreciate their vulnerability, understand that very little is real until it is written, know that writing is not linear and old friends/lovers/places/things may always be a part of the stories, their story, keep popping up - it does not mean your writer is not there with you.
Don't read their work if you're going to police it or are uncomfortable knowing something about you is out there floating around in the universe (Internet). Don't date a writer if you can't process your own emotions and don't read their work if you don't want to be confronted by their thoughts on you.
I know partners are supposed to know what's up so they can be supportive. And maybe this is just me being weird and hiding from vulnerability, but, I probably didn't write it for you - my partner. So, what do I care if you do or don't read it?
Last thing, and this is important, if you wanted nice things written about you, you should've behaved better (Anne Lamott).
Date a writer if you understand how words feed their soul.
Date a writer if you appreciate artistic license.
Date a writer if you love getting lost in worlds created by the one whose world you love.
Date a writer if you want to live forever.
And for those lil babies who do listen, thanks for making our process easier. We see you.