bareMinerals

8 Dating Myths and Half-truths

I think we teach people a lot of wrong things about love and relationships. We teach people a lot of dysfunctional things about love and relationships. We also teach people ideas that are only true some of the time in relationships. Basically, everything is hella gray. But, here we’re breaking down some of the most popular myths and truths out there. Take what you will leave the rest. 

Waiting for sex will make them stay.

It seems like every other day now, Twitter is discussing the merits of delaying sex. Hell, at this point folks are delaying kissing. Everything is being saved until one is cuffed. Everything is being saved until a party feels confident in how the other feels. Here’s the thing though. People lie. People lie, so you should do what you want with your body when you want to and solely because you feel like it. Ninety-day rule our ass. You can wait ninety days and end up happy or get left on day ninety-one. Don’t use being physical with someone as a bargaining chip. You might be the one that loses playboy. 

A good woman stays by them no matter what.

I mean…here’s the thing, your worth is not at all attached to what you put up with. So, you’re not a bad woman if you leave. You’re not a good woman if you stay. Being a “good woman” is way more about your internal offerings (get your mind out of the gutter) than what you do or don’t put up with. Like Bey said, feel free to bounce to the next person sis. 

Why buy the cow, if one can get the milk for free?

I always heard this one growing up and while the semantics of the idiom make sense, I’m going back to point number one here. You have to be kind, cook, clean, and whatever else with or for someone simply because you want to. If you’re performing acts of service with the hope that they’ll get you wifed then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Two things. First, people will only do what you allow them to. Second, if someone wants to make it official they will. There’s nothing you can do to goad them into it. 

Blocked? No worries, expect an email

In our digital age, one way to try and safeguard your digital space is by blocking someone. We block numbers, Instagram profiles, Twitter accounts with the hope of keeping someone out of our space and preventing us from having to interact with theirs. (Word to the wise, you might have to go ahead and block some of their friends too because hello mutuals on the timeline). The funniest thing about blocking someone is that they can usually figure out you did this. Maybe y’all had a big blow out so they expected it. Maybe you just decided to cut it all off one random Tuesday at 2 PM. Either way, if someone is paying attention they’ll know they’re blocked.

Someone once told me that when this happens one should expect an email. Maybe you can’t block email address? I probably just haven’t figure out how to yet. Regardless, if you get blocked, don’t shoot off an email. It doesn’t mean you care. And if you get an email from someone you blocked, don’t take it as a sign they give a shit. If we cared like we should’ve no one would’ve been blocked in the first place. Keep your “they’re happy” meter to yourself and don’t try to come back and shit on whatever new joy or peace they found.

If you buy them shoes they’ll walk out of your life

I personally consider this one an old wise tale. But who am I to deny mothers and grandmothers past? I did buy a man shoes once and he isn’t in my life anymore but that’s because he cheated. I’m not sure the two are correlated.

Don’t lend bae your car

This is facts. Ain’t no way you’re gonna be riding around town in my car with some other girl or your boys all up inside. We’re gonna have to find you a rental. We’ve all seen the pics online of a partner in their significant others car doing things they shouldn’t be. I’m sticking by this one.

The way you’ll get them is how you’ll lose them

Here’s the deal – whatever someone will do to someone else they will do to you. You are not special. I repeat you are not special. You got with your person because they cheated on their now ex with you. Why in hell would you think they won’t turn around and start seeing their next while they’re with you? When people show us who they are we have to believe them, the first time. How you get them is how you lose them and probably how they’ll be when Y’all are together. People change because they want to and your love, kids, sex, money is not going to make them some different person. Sorry.

Dassit. Dasall. What’s a dating myth or half-truth that you’ve been told? Stay tuned for round two! 

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Gabrielle Hickmon
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